{"product_id":"please-grant-me-the-confidence-lighter","title":"Please Grant Me the Confidence Lighter","description":"\u003ch2\u003ePlease Grant Me the Confidence Lighter: Sarcastic Cross-Stitch Art\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSummon the ultimate power of unearned self-assurance and step out into the world with the official \u003cstrong\u003ePlease Grant Me the Confidence Lighter\u003c\/strong\u003e from The Original Underground. Specially tailored for retail customers who love sharp internet humor, feminist memes, and subversive cultural jokes, this premium disposable lighter brings a hilariously bold statement to your collection of everyday carry accessories. It serves as the perfect sarcastic icebreaker or conversational spark.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cp\u003eThe beautiful, high-definition full-wrap graphic mimics a vintage needlepoint embroidery canvas, featuring a detailed cream cross-stitch background texture. Symmetrical borders of traditional red roses, delicate green leafy vines, and blue floral accents frame the bold, pixelated block typography reading: \"Dear Lord, Please Grant Me the Confidence of a Mediocre White Man.\" Built for ultimate durability and reliable use, it delivers a steady, dependable flame with every single strike.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003ch3\u003ePlease Grant Me the Confidence Lighter Specs\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDimensions:\u003c\/strong\u003e 3.2\" H x 0.89\" W x 0.4\" D\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eType:\u003c\/strong\u003e Full-Wrap Disposable Lighter\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eSafety Compliance:\u003c\/strong\u003e ISO 9994 \u0026amp; CPSC 11228 Certified\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eDesign:\u003c\/strong\u003e Sarcastic Cross-Stitch Needlepoint Pattern with Floral Borders\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"The Original Underground","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":53441786183987,"sku":"GRANTMETHECONFIDENCELIGHTERV2042926","price":3.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0990\/0746\/3731\/files\/PleaseGrantMe_Front.jpg?v=1780812521","url":"https:\/\/rbangel-store.myshopify.com\/products\/please-grant-me-the-confidence-lighter","provider":"The Celestial Starlit Phoenix ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}